Lets watch the stars together;

And lay here side by side

I wrote happy poetry
And it felt great
It still sucked
But it felt great to write
So thank you(:
Really

Spill your guts, kid;

Ive written out my secret on a postcard
One of them anyways
Its all ready to go, but I cant bring myself to put it in the mailbox
Its so boring
Looking at all the other secrets on postsecret, I feel mine isnt worthy to even be sent in
Maybe im making excuses
Maybe im scared
No, thats it
Im scared
I think ill take it to Barnes and Nobles
And leave it in a postsecret book
That sounds better to me
And maybe, just maybe someone will see it
And that someone will be able to relate
It could happen

On a different note;
Im seeing Ryan tomorrow<3

You make me happy;

Whether you know it or not
We should be happy, thats what I said from the start
I am so happy
Knowing you are the one that I want for the rest of my days
Yeah, all of my days

Ah, I love Ryan so much<3
He makes me so incredibly happy
Hanging out with him is so fantastic
Cause he is super duper amazing and wonderful and perfect<33333
Theres nothing quite like the feeling of our lips first touching
Im so lame :/
But he just makes me so happy
Even if he refuses to watch Enchanted :p
Hopefully I can hang out with him thursday
So I can see him again before I leave next Sunday
I wanted to see him the day before I leave
But mom said shes gonna be super busy
I probably will be too
But I still wanted to
Im going to miss him so much :/
He is all I will be able to think about
Atleast I will have his jacket<3

My hair is officially going to be red at 1:15 on Tuesday
Siked, yet scared
I hope it looks decent.....

What is love?;

In a sitch like this you've gotta think
And I dont think you think about the way she thinks
And I know you're oh so sorry dad
And I surely believe that you're a better man

Wait, do I?

So im bored as balls
Blehhhhh
Yeah, im cool
Not.
Oh well, I like being uncool
Its a lot less work
Hey, all you people who (think you) are cool;
(Aka, 90% of my school)
Drown in your fake personality
Kay thanks(:

Im so judgemental
But I dont really care
If you suck, im most likely going to tell you that you suck
That way maybe you can stop sucking
I shouldnt talk, I suck

I get to see Ryan tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! :D
Im radiating happiness(:
LIKE WOAH
Oh goodness
Im gonna shut up now

You're just a little bit camera shy;

But you're still a star

You know summers coming to an end when you have to go to the school store to get more uniform shirts
GROSS
Im so not looking forward to school
The only upside is getting to see Ryan daily again
But still :/
This summer flew by way too quickly

I leave for my cruise in a week and three days
I dont want to go
I mean I do, but I dont
I always worry before cruises that im not going to find any friends and I will be a lonely person all week long
That has never happened, but it could
You never know
Atleast ill be with the older kids this year
Honestly, id rather be with the younger kids
I fit in better
I dont want to be "the innocent one" again
Damn good ethics DX

Fifteen;

Just the other day
she was a little girl
taking over the world,
with her smile,
but just the other day
I saw that girl
taking a tongue down her throat,
by a boy, who didn't give a damn

that she was only fifteen, cause she was more then willing
to take a chance,
to find romance,
to grow up fast,
but I, know she is so much better,
then to give it all away to the first guy,
first try,
first lie,
first goodbye.

Just the other day
she was a little girl
taking over the world,
with her laugh.
but just the other day I saw that little girl
taking her time with him,
and I cant say I've ever been so proud.

Cause she is only fifteen,
and she is more then willing
to take a chance,
to find romance,
to grow up fast,
but I, know she is so much better,
then to give it all away to the first guy,
first try,
first lie,
first goodbye

Christofer Drew gets it(:

So today is 15 months
Im so lucky to have Ryan
But im not even sure ill be able to see him before I leave for my cruise :/
I want to kiss him again
I want to lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat
I want to look into his amazing eyes
I want to tell him I love him in person
I want to hug him really tight and never let go
I just have to be patient and wait this one out

Half of my hearts got a grip on the situation;

Half of my heart takes time

Im sorry
Ill keep saying it but I know it wont fix things
I wish I could go back and change
I would have told you the truth
I should have told you the truth
I want to be your friend again
I miss you
I keep saying that I made this mess, so I have to deal with it
But it still hurts

Oh and this whole mom-dad fued thing is getting stupid
Yeah, I think he's an ass too
But just chill out, kay?

I miss Ryan
He got back yesterday from camp
Hopefully I will be seeing him Wednesday
Thats 15 months<3
Crazy, yet amazing(:

I forgot how much I love the movie Saved

Lets be generic;

If only I knew what that was

Its true, Ryan<33

And I miss you so much

I love you more then anything<3

I couldnt even begin to explain

Untitled Misery;

We're cool

Oh the late night pictures after not talking for months...

Anyways

Ryan leaves tomorrow

D: *sad face*

I guess I really need a life

Yeah, I do

I dont even know what to write

I just felt like writing

Im so great, yeah?

Are you running out of breath,

From running through my head all night?

I dont even like Stephen Jerzak

But that lyric makes me smile(:

I really want to see Eclipse and Despicable Me

But im not really a movie going kinda person

Id rather watch them in the comfort of my home

Yeah, cause my house is sooooo fantastic

My dads being an even bigger dick

Who knew his head could get any farther up his ass?

If he didnt want me, he should have used a condom

What a stupid little kid I used to be

I would say I would never stop being daddys little girl

Its hard to be daddys little girl when daddy doesnt care about you

Ohhhhh, what dysfunction

Its a wonder I have friends

Im just gonna lay down and watch Billy Madison

Story of my life

Open your eyes, open your heart

Every time im feeling like crap, I just have to hang out with Ryan and I feel great again
He can make me feel so special
Its totally amazing
I had such a great time being with him yesterday
We just laid there
So close, but not close enough
I feel like I can never get close enough to him
I was always so afraid to really look him in the eyes
I was afraid he would see how weak I am
That im not as strong as I make myself look
But I let all of that go
I cant hold back anymore
I love him more then I thought I could ever love someone
Im not screwing this up
I need him
He has become my everything
And I dont care how cliche that sounds
I need to stop worrying so much about things
I love him, thats that, and thats all that matters

Another day;

Im tired of getting reminded how much I suck
Im tired of not having any legit friends
Its another night that im stuck at home
While Ryan is out with his friends
Oh fantastic

I hate cramps
I feel sick

I love you