You're just a little bit camera shy;

But you're still a star

You know summers coming to an end when you have to go to the school store to get more uniform shirts
GROSS
Im so not looking forward to school
The only upside is getting to see Ryan daily again
But still :/
This summer flew by way too quickly

I leave for my cruise in a week and three days
I dont want to go
I mean I do, but I dont
I always worry before cruises that im not going to find any friends and I will be a lonely person all week long
That has never happened, but it could
You never know
Atleast ill be with the older kids this year
Honestly, id rather be with the younger kids
I fit in better
I dont want to be "the innocent one" again
Damn good ethics DX

Fifteen;

Just the other day
she was a little girl
taking over the world,
with her smile,
but just the other day
I saw that girl
taking a tongue down her throat,
by a boy, who didn't give a damn

that she was only fifteen, cause she was more then willing
to take a chance,
to find romance,
to grow up fast,
but I, know she is so much better,
then to give it all away to the first guy,
first try,
first lie,
first goodbye.

Just the other day
she was a little girl
taking over the world,
with her laugh.
but just the other day I saw that little girl
taking her time with him,
and I cant say I've ever been so proud.

Cause she is only fifteen,
and she is more then willing
to take a chance,
to find romance,
to grow up fast,
but I, know she is so much better,
then to give it all away to the first guy,
first try,
first lie,
first goodbye

Christofer Drew gets it(:

So today is 15 months
Im so lucky to have Ryan
But im not even sure ill be able to see him before I leave for my cruise :/
I want to kiss him again
I want to lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat
I want to look into his amazing eyes
I want to tell him I love him in person
I want to hug him really tight and never let go
I just have to be patient and wait this one out

Half of my hearts got a grip on the situation;

Half of my heart takes time

Im sorry
Ill keep saying it but I know it wont fix things
I wish I could go back and change
I would have told you the truth
I should have told you the truth
I want to be your friend again
I miss you
I keep saying that I made this mess, so I have to deal with it
But it still hurts

Oh and this whole mom-dad fued thing is getting stupid
Yeah, I think he's an ass too
But just chill out, kay?

I miss Ryan
He got back yesterday from camp
Hopefully I will be seeing him Wednesday
Thats 15 months<3
Crazy, yet amazing(:

I forgot how much I love the movie Saved

Lets be generic;

If only I knew what that was

Its true, Ryan<33

And I miss you so much

I love you more then anything<3

I couldnt even begin to explain

Untitled Misery;

We're cool

Oh the late night pictures after not talking for months...

Anyways

Ryan leaves tomorrow

D: *sad face*

I guess I really need a life

Yeah, I do

I dont even know what to write

I just felt like writing

Im so great, yeah?

Are you running out of breath,

From running through my head all night?

I dont even like Stephen Jerzak

But that lyric makes me smile(:

I really want to see Eclipse and Despicable Me

But im not really a movie going kinda person

Id rather watch them in the comfort of my home

Yeah, cause my house is sooooo fantastic

My dads being an even bigger dick

Who knew his head could get any farther up his ass?

If he didnt want me, he should have used a condom

What a stupid little kid I used to be

I would say I would never stop being daddys little girl

Its hard to be daddys little girl when daddy doesnt care about you

Ohhhhh, what dysfunction

Its a wonder I have friends

Im just gonna lay down and watch Billy Madison

Story of my life

Open your eyes, open your heart

Every time im feeling like crap, I just have to hang out with Ryan and I feel great again
He can make me feel so special
Its totally amazing
I had such a great time being with him yesterday
We just laid there
So close, but not close enough
I feel like I can never get close enough to him
I was always so afraid to really look him in the eyes
I was afraid he would see how weak I am
That im not as strong as I make myself look
But I let all of that go
I cant hold back anymore
I love him more then I thought I could ever love someone
Im not screwing this up
I need him
He has become my everything
And I dont care how cliche that sounds
I need to stop worrying so much about things
I love him, thats that, and thats all that matters

Another day;

Im tired of getting reminded how much I suck
Im tired of not having any legit friends
Its another night that im stuck at home
While Ryan is out with his friends
Oh fantastic

I hate cramps
I feel sick

I love you